Monday, August 22, 2011

to much

To much to say. I have no idea how to condense the last few days into something readable. But I promised I would try. So here goes.
Colorado was beautiful. My heart broke when we drove through it, because I know that my heart misses places like this without ever being in them. When we stayed with the Hogans and lived a little life with them, I was in heaven. There was a moment when I looked at myself, tee-shirt smelling of cows and goats, pants covered in horse hair from the morning ride, tooth pick sticking out of my mouth, shoved in a van with a bunch of people, wearing suspenders and a baseball cap singing country music, that I realized there is a kind of life that I long for.  I know it sounds cliche and stereotypical, but there is something about that simplistic and rustic life that calls to my heart and soul. I pray for this life, and may the Lord bless my heart. If not, I know that "heaven is a wonderful place, filled with gllory and grace, and I will see my saviors face" and that will be enough for me. We said our goodbyes to a family I will love and miss for the rest of my life, and got in the car. As we waved our last goodbyes, and my eyes filled with tears, I realized that the Lord is a kind and compassionate God, to put a family that wraps me in arms of love in my deepest hours of need. I know that this week was the hardest for homesickness. So he gave me a mother to love, a father to laugh with, and brothers and sisters to ease my broken heart. No where I go will be without family. I will be in his love whether I am in New Zealand, Alaska, or Peru. It is comforting to know how surrounded I am with the family of Christ, and how excepting other people can be when you are alone and afraid.
Then we passed through Nebraska and stayed in Omaha. It's a big city with beautiful buildings and cute little downtown areas. There was one stop that was the cutest down town I have ever been in. It had the atmosphere of old downtown Fullerton, but the streets were very narrow. All the buildings had little shops underneath and lofts above, but to separate the shops from the lofts and give shoppers some shade, they had made these little canopies above the shops and on the edge of these were blooming flowers. I was enchanted! This, by far, was the loveliest little downtown I have ever seen. Pike place in Washington was amazing, Disney downtown is phenomenal, Fullerton is brilliant, but this was just lovely. We went to a Presbyterian church on Sunday, and then visited the most amazing catholic cathedral! it was beautiful! The ceiling were so high, I felt dizzy looking at them. We got a tour from the friend we stayed the night with and then the lady who played the organ showed us how it worked! She showed us inside the organ and told us some of the history of the church, and then we got a tour of more the the churches history in a small museum they keep next door.  It was amazing. I was blessed to see how others worship, and look forward to continuing this new education of mine. I do not believe in the separation of the church, and therefore feel at home with anyone in the family of Christ, but these interesting traditions and customs are something new to learn about.
We got on the road again and drove through Iowa and some of Minnesota, and then visited Jojo's family and Met a woman named Kiwi (that's her nick name, I can't recall her real one), and then stopped at Jansina's house to stay. Please pray for me here. I feel a little un-easy, because I have the rush of blood in my heart to explore now, and do not like stopping much. I also miss home terribly and wish you could all be here with me, seeing more of the world then I thought I would. Please pray also, that Pickle and I can fall into the groove of this new family and not feel quite so separated. My mouth does not like to whisper and my heart does not like silence, but if I must, than I must. Who am I to expect anything different from a gracious family that lets me stay with them. They have been more than accommodating, letting me sleep with my dog and giving me the freedom to eat and drink when I will and sleep when I may. I do not know where the disconnectedness lies except on my own error. I must learn how others families live if I am to be mature myself. Lord help me learn, and give me graciousness in kind, that I might show your love through my very skin to those that I meet.
I love you Lord.

And I love and miss you all. Be well, my dear ones, and be sure to keep me updated with the goings on at home. My internet will work during the day, but at night, I have no connection, so if you wanna chat, just check during the day.

Onward and upward to new adventures!

signing out for now


PS. Pickle loves exploring as much as I do! She might not like pools, but she sure does like swimming in creeks! She isa country dog at heart and it makes me glad!

1 comment:

  1. Beloved Boo, Thank you for sharing your heart. When I have, at times past, crossed over the Continental Divide, I have longed to have a home there. I love wilderness. I am also feeling with you about families. I had a brief experience in Montgomery, Alabama, that showed me that I could live anywhere where the Body of Christ is. I would also have trouble being around quiet people. We are so very loud as a family. We are raucous and celebratory wherever we are. So, even with a quite family, quietly celebrate the life God has given you. Keep the faith, read and meditate on God's word, pray, love, laugh, jump, sing, and dance like nobody's watching. May you find that piece of earth that is calling for you. I think the next quote applies to you.

    "I think a human life should be well rooted in some spot of native land, where it may get the love of tender kinship for the face of the earth, for the labors of men go forth to, for the sounds and accents that haunt it, for whatever will give that early home a familiar and unmistakable difference amidst the future widening of knowledge. The best introduction to astronomy is to think of the nightly heavens as a little lot of stars belonging to one's own homestead." (George Eliot - nom de plume of Mary Ann Evans - British author 1819-1880)