Sunday, June 26, 2011

daisy maker

Hello blogesphere.

forgive my absence this week. It has been a busy one. I learned a lot about myself though. Apparently, I am an inventor,  an extrovert, I like older people better than those my own age, I really care about color, I love puzzles, and I actually enjoy writing. College makes you forget a lot of the things you like to do, because you are forced to do them, or denied those pleasures through a lack of time. I became an IEW accredited English tutor, I stated working actively on my friend's business, and I started writing letters; all because I think they are fun or worth while things to do, and I actually wanted to finish them! It's been a long time since I wanted to finish anything that had to do with writing. So thank you IEW. You made me remember a passion I had long forgotten.

I begin to miss daisies. I see them here every now and again, but I miss seeing them EVERYWHERE. It's summer, and there are somethings I didn't know I would miss. Daisies, for one, and the beach for another. I actually just miss the smells of summer. Here, I find water, and it kind of stinks. You gush through mud and fall in putrid smelling gunk and water that makes you feel dirtier than when you started. Obviously, that doesn't stop me from playing in water. I love water! Basically, if there is water, I want to be in it. I understand that there can be bugs, leeches, ticks, and spiders, and any number of flukes, round worms, and disease in the water. But I don't really mind. I need to be near water. I don't know now if I could last long in the middle of the country. A few months is fine, but knowing that I couldn't see the beach unless I drove for hours and hours would be depressing. To much of my heart is in the crying of the sea gulls, and the crashing of the waves. My soul floats on the coastal breezes that smell of salt and rotting drift wood.

I realize that God has plans for me outside of myself. Wherever I end up, I know I will be happy. I know that I can see his beauty in the magnificent swallows that grace the air here. I know I will be overwhelmed by the mountains in New Zealand (Lord willing). He has put wonderful trees and towering cliffs, majestic bugs and graceful animals all over the world. But I miss the familiar. I don't know any of the bird songs out here. It's such a little thing, but its a constant reminder that I am not where i was.

So here I am. Making my own daisies. They might not sound like much, but words have so much more power than I remembered. It's like coming awake after dreaming for so long.

I have much more to say, and I will try to get it out in the next few days. But I am tired


I will be signing off for now


PS. Someday, I will be with you again, Pickle. I know your little heart is happy with your friends, but I sure do miss you. I cried for you again last night. My heart hurts to be with you, my little pup. So have fun, and know that I will be home soon. Bye, baby, and be good. (for those of you that don't know my dog, I would say "bye, baby, and be good" to her everyday as I left for work. She is super cute and wonderful)

Monday, June 20, 2011

onward and upward

first week almost done! Tomorrow I will have been here a whole week's time, and I have learned so much already. I'm gaining more confidence everyday and feel like maybe I can do this. I'm helping a friend work on marketing stuff back at home as well, and I really think it's going to be bomb when I get back!  I have a few more animals to add. 3 dead skunks, a live tortoise and several squirrels. The birds out here are amazing, but I do miss the sea birds, pigeons and parrots. I actually like their songs. sea birds make me feel close to home and parrots always make me laugh! It's kind of silly the things I find myself missing.

I've been missing home a lot today. I keep getting tears in my eyes, but then convince them to go back in and try to think of something happy. The problem with thinking of something happy, is that my default setting is to think of my silly little dog... and that makes me even more sad. So I have to try and think of other things. I really do love it out here, and I love seeing so much green, but I think it would be about 1000000000 times better if my dog could bop around with me. oh well. If I do end up anywhere else for any amount of time, she is coming too! 'Jesus, help me with my burden. It's a silly burden, but my heart is sad anyway. '

I made a new friend named Luke, and I'm excited that we get to hang out today. He is giving me the really Okie tour of Tulsa. Me and Jensina are going to hang out soon too, I hope! She said she would do Ag stuff with me, so I'm going goat hunting next weekend if I can. I've been doing a lot with the Walkers too, like going to the movies and looking for penguins and ... talking... and stuff. so I'm staying as busy as you can in OK, it seems. I'm used to the Cali rush, so this seems slow going and country, even though we are REALLY not in the country. I walk to Wal mart almost every day of the work week, just to go somewhere and be in AC, because even though this isn't the hot season, it still feels hot to me, because it's muggy hot.

Anyways, If you ever find yourself on Facebook and I'm on, and you have nothing to do, shoot me a line and I will be happy to talk with you! My love to everyone reading.

Signing out for now.


PS. I miss you Pickle, and your soulful little eyes.

Friday, June 17, 2011

behind door number one

The total is quickly growing. Let me count it out for you
Road kill:
cats-0 (I was surprised too!)

Almost road kill:
birds- countless

Wish was road kill:
all the bugs!

I'm having fun with all the wild life out here. It's nice to go 5 minutes south and see animals! I'm a little frustrated today with myself. I've had an antsy day and I can't figure out why. I couldn't sleep last night and my head has been killing me. I feel like running in circles until I pass out and then getting up to run some more. Odd. Very odd.
I may post again tonight, but that's really all I had to say.

signing out for now


PS. Pickle... You is a good. And you knows it!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

dangerously close

well folks. I'm dangerously close to liking this book. A lot. I just graduate college (as you know) and swore off homework for the next forever! Then I join an internship and the first thing I have to do is read a book and make reports on it. "Great" I said in my head! No rest for the weary. But sadly, and much to my chagrin, I actually like the book! I also like the work I'm doing and am more suited to it than I had thought. The hardest part is sitting still for so long! my legs long to pace, and I gradually get more and more fidgety as the day wears on. But it can't be helped. I know the work needs to be done on the compy, and let me tell you... the stuff I learned just today about online networking blew my Computer education class out of the water and past Pluto (which is sadly not a planet) into the farthest reaches of space. Google has more available to me for free than I could have ever imagined and You can advertise yourself so easily it's almost scary. I'm really excited to start using all I'm learning on marketing my own business (once it's started), and also helping some friends propel their businesses forward.

I am very grateful that I get to take walks. I think so well when I'm walking, and sometimes I just get stuck, or my eyes glaze over and my brain stops working. Then, I just say "I'm going for a walk" and everyone kind of shrugs and says "Ok..." and I take off for 5 to 10 minutes. Today I did that and realized a HUGE flaw in my thinking and got back to run to my computer (even though I really needed to use the restroom), and fix it. I felt great for the rest of the day, and I know we got more done than I had imagined we could have. I get to walk about twice in a work period, and it's nice that it doesn't take long for my mind to recharge.

 It is also difficult to be inside all the time. I got used to being outside ALL DAY LONG at my old job and loved it! I loved medicating and catching skunks and running around like a crazy trying to catch the dogs that got out! I loved riding the motorcycle with my friend on my off days and walking my dog in the morning. So I guess the thing I miss most about California is being outside.

I hope to spend this Saturday outside ALL DAY, if it's not boiling. ... but you know. I just might not care. I miss you sun and wind. I'm afraid of the grass here, but I might even find a patch of grass (Like the front yard) and lay in it.

All this to say that I'm loving staying here!... but I'm starting to miss home. I've never been away for more than 10 days, and I know once that passes, I will have a hard week. I love notes, and comments, and FB messages, so if you wanna... you could leave me a little something.

with that little appeal, I think I will be signing off for now


PS. I get to video chat with my dog tonight... YAYYY!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

already but not yet

Tired. I'm so very, very tired. But I made it to Oklahoma in good time today, and got to the Walker's beautiful home in no time. I know I will be spending some time at the dollar tree and walmart that are right next to the house! I got my stuff unpacked and then went to a dinner meeting with the IEW staff and met my afellow intern, who is quite enchanting. I learned a little more about all the things I will get to learn and do, and I hope I can keep up! It will be an interesting transition for me. It's very flat here, but Julie said this is a really hilly area of OK.  Tulsa has one of the tallest bridges and it's smaller than the on-ramp for the 5 fwy in Orange. Lots of trees and grass though! I'm not allowing myself to frolic through the grass though, since I got a very interesting and frightening lesson and chiggers today. None of that thank you... none of that. My little room is cute and bright and I will try to take pictures with my new laptop (greeny) and put them up on facebook.

I miss everyone back home already, but I feel a peace that passes understanding as I try this new thing and explore that world a little more on my own.
All my love to anyone reading

signing out for now


PS. thought today about how much my dog would have HATED the plane ride over here, and had a small amount of happiness that she stayed behind.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Last but not least

Today was crazy, but so wonderful. Dear friends helped me ease my heart into leaving for a while. Yesterday was so awesome as my graduation and party were epic! It's late and friends surround me even now. So this will be short and sweet. Good bye California, for now. Who knows when we will see one another again. Only the Lord can see the future.

so, As the Lord wills,

signing off for now


PS. I miss my dog so much

Saturday, June 11, 2011

finding the middle

well. I had expected more from myself at this point. Who knew things could get so crazy in just a few days. I got my new computer though, so that's great! I'm loving this little green spit fire that puts my old compy to shame. I haven't finished my apartment yet, like I had hoped, but I know it will get done. My dog is now staying with a dear friend, Emily Tanner, and I miss her terribly. I have my cap and gown and sashes out and I think they look great! My mom is finishing my dress tonight and I can't wait to wear it tomorrow. I have already started reading my new books and playing with my new compy. I am really excited about Oklahoma, but I have already finished working at my old job and I know I will miss the cats terribly and the employees just as much. All of my worldly belongings are now in a small closet at my parents house and I am very proud of myself and how much I got rid of!

right now I'm watching super chicken with my dad and friend shaina. I hope I can be as clever and humorous with my marketing projects. I know that with the right colors, wording and just the right amount of humor, anything can sell! So I know that watching inspiring videos like george of the jungle and super chicken can only help to liven my spirits and bring me to OK with a great humor.

Looking forward to seeing you all in OK, and looking behind missing my dear ones here.

signing off for now


PS I miss my dog. Her little yellow face and gentle eyes are some of the best things in my life.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

sweet and sour pickle

Today has been an interesting dog day. I think the moon must be doing something odd because the dogs in my life have gone mad! Breaking out of kennels and fighting with each other and running down the walk way. My dog has been crazy about spending every second by my side. She sits on my lap when I sit and walks under my feet as I move from room to room. I don;t know. Weird.

Packing is going well, but I need help. Thankfully I have some friends coming on Saturday to help me finish up. I am ready to go. That is for sure! I am ready to leave the craziness that is my life so that I can make some new craziness for myself. My college professor is so happy for me getting into marketing. Her dreams are being realized I think, since I was her daughter at heart. I love her dearly and hope that she stays a contact of mine. Graduation is only 3 days away. So odd. I guess today is just surreal. I got 2 graduation sashes and am going to a graduation banquet tonight. This is really the end. so odd.

signing out for now


PS my dog is crazy. I just don't know what else to say. silly little hair chewer!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

filling in the blanks

It was brought to my attention that I might want to explain the reason for my move to Oklahoma. I will be doing a marketing internship for the IEW company and staying with Julie walker while there. I will be there until July 30th at the least and have decided to leave my options open when deciding where to go from there. I know the Lord is leading me as I journey and feel his hand on everything I have been doing so far. All of my furniture is now accounted for and off to their homes. I have my stuff all packed for the trip and feel almost done with the packing. I know I have more to do, but I finally feel like it is manageable. I only have 5 full days left here in California and realized that I NEED to see the beach before I leave. It's muggy and cold but I really don't mind.

My car still needs an owner, but that will be under the Lords will as well. With only a few days left, everything has been moving faster. Days go quickly and nights even seem faster than normal. I thought that as I got closer to the end that things would slow down.

oh well. In His timing, all things will be

signing out for now


PS. Pickle has decided that stuffing is the perfect tool to use to bury her bones. Now I have stuffing all over my futon. Silly pup.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

and then she said...

Stress. And endings. But mostly stress. I had hoped to have so much more done by now. It seems that as you begin to pack, more and more cubbies of stuff show up. and then you have to choose what happens to them. I feel that need for company as I begin to shift my life, but the thought of bringing someone else into this chaos that is my life seems scary and I fill with fear. Most of the day I am excited, and then I sit down to write my blog, and fear returns. Is this my true emotion during the day that I mask with excitement, or am I letting my overwhelming feelings flow onto the page that I did not even experience until then?

Anyway. For those of you that know me, you will not be surprised by the length of my blogs. They will all be fairly short and hopefully to the point. I will get my poetic moments and times of clarity, but mostly this will be a journal of my days and things I would like to share with you all. If I figure out how to do pictures, then you might even get some of those, but I would not hold my breath. I'm great at marketing, but sadly slow when it comes to everyday things... like figuring out the buttons to a blog and facebook, and sometimes photography. I let the images come to me, and I make them sparkle. To each has been given different gifts. I just hope I can find some gifted people in OK that are good at what I am not.

well, signing off for now, since I need to finish packing for OK and get all this trash to the dumpster. Wish me well.


PS. My dog has been sad today since she did not get to sleep with me last night. Poor pups

Monday, June 6, 2011

well now

I leave on Tuesday of next week. so that's one week from tomorrow. I still have work to do on the apartment, but it's coming along nicely. I feel as though I'm being freed from all of this worldly junk so that I can travel with my mind at ease. I finished packing up 8 of my 10 boxes and I still think I might make my goal. Pickle (my dog) has her stuff all packed and ready to go. I still have to find a goodwill in my area that can take all this stuff. It's harder than I thought to find one of these places.
Anyways. I feel homesick and I haven't even left yet. I just know that, even when I come back, this phase of my life is over. I can never go back to this. I might try and re-create it, but I know this is the end. How sad and freeing. The aimlessness will be gone, but so will the absolute freedom. Maybe I will find a new kind of freedom that I have not known yet. Before I had "summer freedom" that comes with the security of knowing that you will go back to school in the fall. Then I had "I can do what I want freedom" that had the pleasure and support of my loving parents. This next kind I have no name for. Will I enjoy it? will it be painful? I do not know. But I'm looking forward to trying it out.

signing off for now.
PS. I haven't left yet, but I miss my dog when I think of giving her up. She is SOOOO sick of me clinging to her. hahaha. Poor pup

Sunday, June 5, 2011

first post in the blogosphere

So there are 9 days left until I leave for Oklahoma. I still need to pack, move, sell a bunch of things, donate everything else, and see what I can do about getting a new ride once I get there. I'm loving that I get to fly alone for the first time ever (at the ripe old age of 24). I'm excited, but already feeling home sick. I know that most of the things I have done until now will end, and I do not know if they will continue when I return, and I really don't know how long I will be here before I leave again.

I hope you all enjoy the ride with me as I fly by the seat of my pants in true Tribble fashion and just do what seems to be right. May the Lord bless and guide me on this journey through life.