Monday, June 6, 2011

well now

I leave on Tuesday of next week. so that's one week from tomorrow. I still have work to do on the apartment, but it's coming along nicely. I feel as though I'm being freed from all of this worldly junk so that I can travel with my mind at ease. I finished packing up 8 of my 10 boxes and I still think I might make my goal. Pickle (my dog) has her stuff all packed and ready to go. I still have to find a goodwill in my area that can take all this stuff. It's harder than I thought to find one of these places.
Anyways. I feel homesick and I haven't even left yet. I just know that, even when I come back, this phase of my life is over. I can never go back to this. I might try and re-create it, but I know this is the end. How sad and freeing. The aimlessness will be gone, but so will the absolute freedom. Maybe I will find a new kind of freedom that I have not known yet. Before I had "summer freedom" that comes with the security of knowing that you will go back to school in the fall. Then I had "I can do what I want freedom" that had the pleasure and support of my loving parents. This next kind I have no name for. Will I enjoy it? will it be painful? I do not know. But I'm looking forward to trying it out.

signing off for now.
PS. I haven't left yet, but I miss my dog when I think of giving her up. She is SOOOO sick of me clinging to her. hahaha. Poor pup

1 comment:

  1. it's called "the end of an era freedom." it is the end of something to big and the beginning of something bigger! This is the open door syndrome where God can do anything with you because you are finally able to walk through the door He has opened for you with pure freedom and no strings! Scary? Yes. Crazy? Yes Anxiety ridden? YES!!!! You are in your adventure time! We did things opposite from each other. you were so focused and hard working and now you are free to adventure as a result. i did my adventuring and now i m stuck. Enjoy it while it lasts! I am jealous! Do i miss you like crazy?! of course! But i am living vicariously through my womb mate! I love you!